You Are Not What You Were

Ever get discouraged living out the Christian life? I know that I do. Sometimes living for Christ is really, really difficult. Of course, the alternative is far more difficult! When I get discouraged and need a measure of hope, occasionally I review my past and recall God’s activity. If I go back far enough, to my “BC” days before I was a believer, the contrast makes evident the increase of God’s movement over the years. Since becoming a believer, lots of changes have taken place. Though often moving at a snail’s pace, these changes are real and provide a genuine grounding for hope and encouragement because they are wrought by God my Savior.

One of my favorite books is Letters Along the Way (D. A. Carson and John D. Woodbridge, Crossway). It’s a compilation of letters written between a wise, elderly seminary professor and a young, struggling Timothy who is learning what it means to live out his life in Christ. Through fiction, Carson and Woodbridge have architected a manual for discipleship from which every pastor can learn a tremendous amount and in which every believer can find rich and rewarding salve for the troubled soul. The application of grace coupled with sage advice spills from every page.

Throughout these exchanges, the good professor engages young Timothy’s concerns with eloquence and relevance. For me, one of the most penetrating and encouraging passages written by the elder are these words at a time when Timothy’s guilt and despair were at an all-time high. Listen carefully to this solidly biblical and pastorally gracious advice:

Since becoming a Christian, you have become more and more aware of the sin in your life, and you are discouraged by it. But what discourages you, I see as a sign of life—not the sin itself, but the fact that you are discouraged by it. If you professed faith in Christ and it did not make any difference to your values, personal ethics, and goals, I would begin to wonder if your profession of faith in Christ was spurious (there are certainly instances of spurious faith in the Bible—for instance, John 2:23-25; 8:31ff.).

But if you have come to trust Christ, then growth in Him is always attended by deepening realization that you are not as good as you once thought you were, that the human heart is frighteningly deceptive and capable of astonishing depths of selfishness and evil. As you discover these things about yourself, the objective ground of your assurance must always remain unfalteringly the same: ‘if anybody does sin we have one who speaks to the Father in our defense—Jesus Christ, the Righteous One’ (1 John 2:1). Let your confidence rest fully in that simple and profound truth.

What you will discover with time is that although you are not as holy as you would like to be or as blameless as you should be, by God’s grace you are not what you were. You look back and regret things you have said and thought and done as a Christian; you are embarrassed perhaps by the things you failed to think and say and do. But you also look back and testify with gratitude that because of the grace of God in your life, you are not what you were. And thus, unobtrusively, the subjective grounds of assurance also lend their quiet support. (p. 23)

With gratitude in my heart, I can say with certainty, “I AM NOT WHAT I WAS” because of the grace of God my Savior and this brings me hope. I pray it does for you as well.

“Therefore, my dear friends, as you have always obeyed…continue to work out your salvation with fear and trembling, for it is God who works in you to will and to act in order to fulfill his good purpose.”
(Philippians 2:12-13, TNIV)