Does God forget my sins when he forgives my sins? Aren’t we supposed to “forgive and forget?” After all, the Bible states “I, even I, am he who blots out your transgressions, for my own sake, and remembers your sins no more” (Isaiah 43:25). And, Jeremiah exclaims “For I will forgive their wickedness and will remember their sins no more” (Jeremiah 31:34).
But wait a minute! I thought God was omniscient! How can a being who knows all things forget anything and remain all-knowing? Perhaps the notion that God forgets our sins is not a cognitive act at all but a behavioral one. For instance, 1 Samuel 1:19-20 says God “remembered” Hannah and opened her womb so she could conceive. It’s not as though the Lord said, “Oops! Hannah, I am so sorry I forgot about you. I’ve been so busy with other things, it just slipped my mind.” Rather, based upon her prayer to bear children, God DID something on Hannah’s behalf.
Or, consider how we use the word “remember” when I ask you to “remember me in prayer.” It’s not as though I’m asking you to literally recall me to mind because you have forgotten me. I am, however, asking you to DO something on my behalf; in this instance pray for me. Likewise, God does not, and in fact cannot, forget our sins, but he does graciously chooses not to hold them against us.
It may be psychologically appealing to believe that God “forgives and forgets,” but it’s not theologically responsible. What should make me feel good is that God can know my every sin for eternity and still choose to grant forgiveness to me! This is the God of Scripture and this is the God we love and worship. Only a God who is eternally gracious yet eternally mindful of my sin can eternally forgive but not forget.
With this theological framework in place, is it reasonable to expect that humans should forgive and forget one another? When someone says “forgive and forget,” it’s quite possible they mean that the offender should no longer be counted blameworthy. As I previously argued, this seems right on the view that the conditions have been met (atonement, repentance).
Sadly, however, the expression “forgive and forget” is often used glibly to mean the offended should act as if the sin committed against them never happened. If this is what is intended by “forgive and forget,” then I would not agree. Here’s why. First, on a purely practical note it’s not reasonable to expect the offended to simply disregard an offense or engage in some kind of make-believe. We know intuitively that the past does not change and no amount of dismissal will undo what has been done. Moreover, this form of “forgive and forget” is akin to denial and can do more harm to all parties. Therapists make a career out of helping people come to grips with reality as it is.
It will help us to discern how we view the past in this instance. When I sin against another, that sin becomes part of my personal history; it remains permanently part of my story (remember, the past does not change). Consequently, I am blameworthy for causing a breach between me (as offender) and the person I sin against (the offended). On the Christian view, however, there is more to my story than just my personal history. It is possible that my moral history changes when, on the condition of repentance, forgiveness is offered and granted to me by the offended. When forgiveness is granted on the condition of repentance, then the needle moves in the relationship because my moral history shifts from blameworthy to blameless. This change in status, then, allows my moral history to take precedence over my personal history in the eyes of the offended and moves my offense, not out of sight, but into the background of the relationship1. Forgiveness applied, therefore, fixes the breach caused by sin enjoining both parties to heal and move toward reconciliation.2
What’s more, in a twist of irony the relationship once fractured may even be stronger because both parties remember. How so? The offended, cognizant of the offense, chooses not to hold the offender blameworthy thus growing in the virtue of forgiveness and 2) the offender’s recall of their past sin serves as an ongoing reminder that the relationship has immense value, is not to be taken for granted, and consequently cherished all the more. Both sides of remembering demonstrate to both parties a strength of character in and depth of gratitude for the relationship; a strength and depth that otherwise would not have been.3
Forgive and forget? Not really. Forgive but not forget? Yes!
- The analogy of scapegoat representing the results of atonement is important to consider here (Lev. 16:21-22).
- Note: Not all relationships damaged by sin are reconcilable. In the case of deep trauma, such as rape, incest, murder, et al., reconciliation is neither expected nor required for forgiveness to be granted. The offended can, on the Christian worldview, still maintain a posture of embrace and extend the offer of forgiveness, regardless of repentance shown. Still, the viability of a relationship depends upon other mitigating circumstances.
- I became aware of this distinction between one’s personal history and moral history from Jonathan Rutledge’s book, Forgiveness and Atonement. See my review here.
Dear Paul,
First, excellent post since in the second and third paragraphs you indicate that it is a conscious decision of the His Will not to use our sin against us. Second, would not the issue of God “forgetting” my sins be to ascribe that which is a human “sin” to God? I really do not think that as Christians we would want to ascribe a sin of man, forgetfulness, to God. That is really asking for trouble.
HI Bryant:
You raise a good point. We must not project upon God that which is true of humanity. While we are made in his image, we should never return the favor!
Rev. Williams,
I’m confused. How is “forgeting” something a sin? If I forget a doctor’s appointment is that a sin? Are you using forgetfulness in a more narrow sense?